Thursday, January 17, 2008


I really didn't know what to use as my title, so things kinda fits. I have so much to blog about, but as usual...get tied up in other things. You know, like WarCrack. LOL.

K, now where to start. Last year I blogged about a friend doing some things that really bothered me. Well me and her, Tanya is her name, have been back in contact and really talked through some things. For one, she is now in the process of (hopefully) leaving the abusive person she married and who basically was the cause of all the heartache. Because it wasn't just me that she hurt, it was also our other dear friend, Desiree. I am glad that me and her are talking, because we had such a wonderful friendship, most of all I am glad she is seeing him for what everyone else saw him as.

Next thing...CSTL's care broke down again. I would love to get rid of this thing, but because of other reasons we cannot. So we thought we would see about trading the Pilot for two cars, cheap cars, and having about the same payment. Sure everyone could do it, but the payment was going to be CRAZZZYYY. Why? Because the freaking Honda has depreciated in value by $8000 in less than 2 years. Yep $8000. We went to the Honda place we bought it from and after arguing and fretting and crying, me, they could not tell us anything other than, yes you have this Honda in the same shape you bought it in, with GPS, and fully loaded and, yep for some unknown reason it has went down by $8000. Sorry. I cannot begin to express how freaking mad I was. But one good thing is we love the Honda, and eventually we'll just get him a new car for work.

Kiddos...James now says nana nana nana when he wants a banana. LOL. He loves those things. And I think I finally have Ryan talked into cutting his hair. He said he would cut it if I would let him have basically what is a mullet, or a mohawk. Well I am on the verge of the mohawk but am thinking I can sway him into something less mullety. LOL. Oh his dad is finally paying child support. Fingers are crossed though, because they are getting him for about $400 a month to cover arrears plus about 200 to cover arrears to the state. I am praying he doesn't quit his job because they are hitting him for so much all at once.

PMDD...well, I got through a whole month, without going completely insane. I cannot express how great that feels. There was maybe one day or night of sad crying, but for the most part I have been able to really work on it mentally and keep it at bay. And of course the pills help. Which reminds me, I need to get my script filled. With everything else that has happened in the last two years I really felt like I had completely or was on the edge of losing my mind. Because really that is what it feels like. Ex: Someone said something and I did not quite hear it. Because it was right at the peak of when it hits the hardest, I was crying and begging and screaming, and crying...and in my head all I could think of was why is this happening, why can't I control myself. I tried to explain that I cannot cope and needed them to tell me whatever it was no matter how minute or unimportant, eventually after a while, more crying screaming and feeling like I was having a nervous breakdown, they told me. As soon as it was said, it was over. The clutching and heat were gone and my mind was calm again.......So that is how life was for me until I started taking these meds for PMDD. It is so wonderful to feel like I am not going crazy.

Life in great. I just got done reading His Dark Materials, and it is a wonderful book. Our friend No knock Renee is reading it to give her recommendation about taking it out of the elementary library. And I have been totally against it. Now that I have read it, I think it should stay, but maybe only the older children check it out. There is a lot in it that they do not understand, and while it is a good book, I think that it would be best that parents know they are checking it out. that is all for now. My baby is away working and we miss him so much here at home. We had snow last night and I would have loved being able to cuddle up to him while we watched it.

Enjoy your day!!!


Asrai said...

Just popping in to say "hey!" and I miss you!

I *am* glad that I can now read your blog...I used to visit your old one and for some reason, it was always overlapping and I couldn't read it very well. Yay for finally being able to check in on ya!

Anonymous said...

I thought you guys had Beamers. You did when I was there, right?

Steve and Tara said...

Hi Asrai!!! I deleted the entire old blog and am just going to keep this one simple. Glad to see ya!

Boo!!! Yep we have a BMW too. That is the one we really need to replace. It is his work car and has so many things wrong with it. We did have an M3 but traded it when we got the Pilot.

Eventually I want to be able to get him another, but that has to wait a little while longer.