tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76284500182271411492024-03-13T20:31:06.691-07:00What to do?Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-55656798225644813062010-03-27T15:11:00.000-07:002010-03-27T15:17:39.482-07:00Been a long timeWow...it's been a long long time since I have posted on here, and so much has changed but really remained the same.<br /><br />I lost my job yesterday. I loved my job. Seriously. I woke up every morning ready and excited to go to work. I loved what I did. I did something I know was right. I refused to cross my morals, and did what I till always think was right. I was told I was a strong, solid, reliable employee...but it was time.<br /><br />I am devastated. We just got straightened out. Just bought a new car. I am sick to my stomach and really have no idea what we are going to do. I say we are going to be okay...because I have to believe it. But are we? I do not know. Unless I find something quick, or they do not fight unemployment, I do not think we will be. The amount we will have for the total month leftover after bills, is the amount we usually spend in 1-2 weeks.<br /><br />If we cut way back...we can do it. I know we can. But there are so many other things. Kiddo 1 needs to go to the dentist like ASAP, and dear hubby has to get new glasses that we just won't be able to afford. And what about my medication the Dr. now has me on, there is no way with our co pay that we will be able to pay for it.<br /><br />But on the brighter side...I stuck to what I knew was right, what I believed, and stood my ground. They said it was performance, but I had the highest on the team and they just gave me a raise...so I call bullcrap.<br /><br />UGH...Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-6685154285563610172008-05-31T08:40:00.000-07:002008-05-31T08:41:21.611-07:00This is itIt had to happen, as I have drifted away from this in the last 2 years.<br /><br />Goodbye.Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-11680998606441908312008-03-25T09:15:00.000-07:002008-03-25T09:18:06.586-07:00CuttersSo the thread over there...ST's no one will care...has got me thinking...<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do to cut time? Cost? Or anything?<br /><br /><br /><br />I need some clutter ideas that are cheap, easy, and easy to maintain. I hate clutter and used to clean out everything before we got married about every six months or so. But really, this house is to big for me to do by myself so then I get unmotivated.<br /><br /><br /><br />Any ideas?Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-12673092519707693452008-03-24T08:09:00.000-07:002008-12-08T17:41:12.230-08:00Happy Spring<div><div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8It-ZDMlkNA/R-fIr_myO3I/AAAAAAAAAG8/XA7vhW1_UQk/s1600-h/DSC00064.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181330554447084402" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8It-ZDMlkNA/R-fIr_myO3I/AAAAAAAAAG8/XA7vhW1_UQk/s320/DSC00064.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div>Spring is here!!!</div><br /><div></div><div>We spent Good Friday at the park, and had so much fun. It was a great warm, sunny day and since Steve and Ryan were both home we decided to go to the park and enjoy it.</div><div></div><br /><div>The baby made a new little friend named Lisa, and I think maybe his dad's Asian (girl) adoration was passed down. James doesn't usually pay too much attention to other kids, but he followed her around and just kept looking at her.</div><div></div><br /><div>We attempted to fly Ryans big kite that Steve bought him after we were married, but for some reason it wouldn't fly. It seemed as though everyone had kites up in the air with the little tail streamers, so I went to the Wal-mart right down the road and bought 2. They were $1 and were really cute. Needless to say they flew and flew. Ryan's did so well that he was able to sit down on the bench and fly it.</div><div></div><br /><div>Other than that the weekend was pretty uneventful. Ryan doesn't believe in the Easter Bunny anymore, but still enjoyed what the bunny brought, and James loves his little bubble mower.</div><div></div><br /><div>Spring break from school comes late this year and we are planning on doing the family thing. We'll be driving up to WV for a few days, and I have to say that I am more excited than I thought I would be. It has been over a year since I have been home, and really need to go. Then we are heading towards Steve's parents for a few days. Ryan is ubber excited to see his cousins from Steve's side.</div><div></div><br /><div>Ryan spoke to his dad last week. We'll see how this turns out, but he is now starting to call with some sort of regularity and Ryan is enjoying it. Ryan wants to go to WV for summer break and his dad told him that he will be moved back there by then, and wants to spend lots of time with him. Hopefully this will work out. Come'on powers that be, Ryan needs this and please allow him to have it. For once. He has been through so much with his dad, and I am just hoping that he doesn't get his heart broken again.</div><div></div><br /><div>His school issues are more with his teacher than things going on with his dad. He told us at the start of the year when we got his assignment that the teacher did not like him. No idea what put that into his head, but we didn't ask for a different teacher and now I wish we had. Ryan was reading on a 5ht grade level when he went into the class, and has never gotten a B before. Now he is only on a lower 4th grade level and his report card before this one was all B's and a C. This one was all A's and a B, but we really pressed him. They write slips for their disciplinary actions. What that means is anytime they have to be called down for something they have to fill out a slip outlining what they did and what will change. There was a time when Ryan was writing like 5 a day. Some of them were for stupid things like not paying attention in class while picking up his pencil of the ground. Really.</div><div> </div><div>I have talked to his teacher and she feels he is not working to his potential. I tried to explain that his potential was much higher before her class, and that tells me something is wrong with her class. The final straw was when Ryan missed a day because he was sick to his stomach. The next day he felt better so I sent him to school. When he got home he was crying and saying that he was sick in school. I asked why he did not call home, and he said after asking his teacher 3 times to go to the nurse he just gave up because she wouldn't let him go. </div><br /><div>I called her and she said that she didn't think he was sick, and that since she is the response person she has a thermometer and such in her class and he didn't need to go. I told her that she is to never do that again. That if my child is sick to allow him to call me, among the many other choice things I said. Since then his grades have came up and there aren't any slips.</div><div></div><br /><div>So...now I am debating on which to do first...laundry or clean the kitchen? However I really need a nap. </div><div></div><br /><div>Oh and I have started walking. I really have some weight that I need to lose. I have never stressed about my weight, but I have gained like 40 lbs since we got married...and I cannot stand not being able to wear my clothes, or not liking pictures to be taken. SO I have to lose some of this extra baggage. It is really taking a toll out on me and how I see myself.</div><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8It-ZDMlkNA/R-fJW_myO6I/AAAAAAAAAHU/1-cEBK5SjbU/s1600-h/DSC00017.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181331293181459362" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8It-ZDMlkNA/R-fJW_myO6I/AAAAAAAAAHU/1-cEBK5SjbU/s320/DSC00017.JPG" border="0" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8It-ZDMlkNA/R-fJN_myO5I/AAAAAAAAAHM/grs5ylmNR2c/s1600-h/DSC00051.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181331138562636690" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8It-ZDMlkNA/R-fJN_myO5I/AAAAAAAAAHM/grs5ylmNR2c/s320/DSC00051.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div></div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8It-ZDMlkNA/R-fI-PmyO4I/AAAAAAAAAHE/UywsVXVR3UU/s1600-h/DSC00032.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5181330867979697026" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8It-ZDMlkNA/R-fI-PmyO4I/AAAAAAAAAHE/UywsVXVR3UU/s320/DSC00032.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>Happy Spring!!!!!</div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div>Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-77033602054002632312008-02-22T05:57:00.000-08:002008-02-22T06:02:06.487-08:00WhewLets get yesterday down a few posts or something.<br /><br />So it was a bad few days for me, and now it is over. It's a part of the PMDD process I guess.<br /><br />So it is colllllddddd here right now. Cold as in about 40f outside. But that is cold anymore.<br /><br />Ryan has been acting up in school a lot lately. No idea what to do, as we have done everything. Took away all games. Grounded him based on weekly school reports. Given him more chores. The thing that has helped, I told him if he got into trouble this week I would take him to have his long hair cut off. Since I told him that we have had nothing but good reports...so far.<br /><br />His dad called about a week ago, and was asking about the child support and what we were doing with it. He talked to Ryan for a few minutes and that was good, because besides everything he loves his dad. He loves Steve to, so I think he might feel conflicted at times. But I should have known something was up. He called, now no child support coming.<br /><br />I thought he was doing better, but that is for another day.<br /><br />Cheers,Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-16742642318295200922008-02-21T09:00:00.000-08:002008-02-21T09:10:04.255-08:00LostHave you ever gotten so low, to a point where you just want to say I give up? I don't want to do this anymore. I am tired. I am weak.<br /><br />Have you ever felt so bad, internally, emotionally that you see no way out. No way to escape and come back to normalcy. That all you see and feel at that moment is torment. Agony so bad that you can only cry. The agony is not a nervous system responding to pain agony, but a full fledged mental assault on yourself that you cannot escape.<br /><br />Currently, that is me. I don't know what to do. Where to turn. How to cope. How to act. I try to make it better inside myself, but I just can't seem to this time. It's like I see that rope, and I grab with the tips of my fingers and then something happens, something minor but repeatedly and I feel those fibers delicately woven into that rope sliding out of my reach.<br /><br />I guess that maybe I need to go back to the Dr. and tell her that my meds are not currently working. Or maybe this is something more, something bigger and I need to see someone more specialized. I have no clue. I just know that currently I am lost.<br /><br />There are so many things in my life that are wonderful, my husband, my children. But there are other small issues that build upon themselves that I just cannot seem to handle anymore. I just don't know what to do. Today is a bad day, yesterday was worse. Is it the PMDD, or is there something more wrong with me.<br /><br />I just want to reach and grab onto something and come out of this, and it seems that there is nothing left to grab.Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-73448124417493840752008-01-17T07:50:00.000-08:002008-01-17T08:13:35.428-08:00ThingsI really didn't know what to use as my title, so things kinda fits. I have so much to blog about, but as usual...get tied up in other things. You know, like WarCrack. LOL.<br /><br />K, now where to start. Last year I blogged about a friend doing some things that really bothered me. Well me and her, Tanya is her name, have been back in contact and really talked through some things. For one, she is now in the process of (hopefully) leaving the abusive person she married and who basically was the cause of all the heartache. Because it wasn't just me that she hurt, it was also our other dear friend, Desiree. I am glad that me and her are talking, because we had such a wonderful friendship, most of all I am glad she is seeing him for what everyone else saw him as.<br /><br />Next thing...CSTL's care broke down again. I would love to get rid of this thing, but because of other reasons we cannot. So we thought we would see about trading the Pilot for two cars, cheap cars, and having about the same payment. Sure everyone could do it, but the payment was going to be CRAZZZYYY. Why? Because the freaking Honda has depreciated in value by $8000 in less than 2 years. Yep $8000. We went to the Honda place we bought it from and after arguing and fretting and crying, me, they could not tell us anything other than, yes you have this Honda in the same shape you bought it in, with GPS, and fully loaded and, yep for some unknown reason it has went down by $8000. Sorry. I cannot begin to express how freaking mad I was. But one good thing is we love the Honda, and eventually we'll just get him a new car for work.<br /><br />Kiddos...James now says nana nana nana when he wants a banana. LOL. He loves those things. And I think I finally have Ryan talked into cutting his hair. He said he would cut it if I would let him have basically what is a mullet, or a mohawk. Well I am on the verge of the mohawk but am thinking I can sway him into something less mullety. LOL. Oh his dad is finally paying child support. Fingers are crossed though, because they are getting him for about $400 a month to cover arrears plus about 200 to cover arrears to the state. I am praying he doesn't quit his job because they are hitting him for so much all at once.<br /><br />PMDD...well, I got through a whole month, without going completely insane. I cannot express how great that feels. There was maybe one day or night of sad crying, but for the most part I have been able to really work on it mentally and keep it at bay. And of course the pills help. Which reminds me, I need to get my script filled. With everything else that has happened in the last two years I really felt like I had completely or was on the edge of losing my mind. Because really that is what it feels like. Ex: Someone said something and I did not quite hear it. Because it was right at the peak of when it hits the hardest, I was crying and begging and screaming, and crying...and in my head all I could think of was why is this happening, why can't I control myself. I tried to explain that I cannot cope and needed them to tell me whatever it was no matter how minute or unimportant, eventually after a while, more crying screaming and feeling like I was having a nervous breakdown, they told me. As soon as it was said, it was over. The clutching and heat were gone and my mind was calm again.......So that is how life was for me until I started taking these meds for PMDD. It is so wonderful to feel like I am not going crazy.<br /><br />Life in general...is great. I just got done reading His Dark Materials, and it is a wonderful book. Our friend No knock Renee is reading it to give her recommendation about taking it out of the elementary library. And I have been totally against it. Now that I have read it, I think it should stay, but maybe only the older children check it out. There is a lot in it that they do not understand, and while it is a good book, I think that it would be best that parents know they are checking it out.<br /><br />Ok...so that is all for now. My baby is away working and we miss him so much here at home. We had snow last night and I would have loved being able to cuddle up to him while we watched it.<br /><br />Enjoy your day!!!Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-69782625281153064022008-01-04T20:33:00.000-08:002008-01-04T20:37:20.383-08:00WTF?<em>Huckabee?</em> Really?<br /><br />To me he is just another GWB, and that is not at all what our country needs now. Last night really surprised me, as I cannot fathom why anyone would want to continue in the direction we are going in. I honestly cannot think of anything good that has come out of the last 7 years. Nothing. I know that every person in my family is doing worse now than what they were 10 years ago. I know that every person in my family is doing worse than what they were just 3 years ago.<br /><br />I just do not understand it. It saddens me that this could possible continue.Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-78745443088277663542008-01-03T06:05:00.000-08:002008-01-03T06:15:14.095-08:00Lush ReviewOut of my great Christmas stash of Lush that DH bought me for Christmas, I have used the Champagne Supernova Bath Bomb, the Sexy Peel soap, the Gorgeous moisturizer, and the Godiva shampoo. Oh I also used the Buffy body butter. Oh I also used the red bubble bar that came with it, but the name eludes me right now.<br /><br />I love it all of course. The Bath bomb is great. The smell mixed with the bubble bar was amazing, and the water color from the bubble bar was the deepest red. I only used half the first time, and the next used a stocking because of all the confetti. I just did not like the mushy paper floating everywhere.<br /><br />The soap is wonderful. The smell is so invigorating and fresh. I absolutely love it.<br /><br />The Moisturizer is probably the best I have ever used. My face is soft and not greasy. That is why I hate moisturizers, because of the greasy feeling, but this did not have it at all. Totally worth the money.<br /><br />I do not care for the Buffy bar all too much. It is nice, but I prefer Skye's bar that she sent me.<br /><br />Now. The shampoo bar. I freaking love it. My hair is super thick. More than super thick. So thick when I go in for haircuts, normally the hairdresser seems overwhelmed at first. I have never been able to use a shampoo without conditioner and my hair not be a frizzy tangled mess. With this, I had no tangles, no frizzes, no anything but beautiful long hair. Even after wearing it up for a day and letting it back down, it was still beautiful in my eyes. I will continue to use this bar shampoo as long as there is a Lush near me.<br /><br />Anything out there you would recommend?Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-106126704459259322007-12-23T05:49:00.001-08:002007-12-23T08:51:14.949-08:00Laughs, $40, Fudge, and toes.As I was out at Wal-Mart getting the last of the stocking stuffers, I like to do that at the last minute, I was thinking of how much I love to hear Steve laugh. When he laughs, really really laughs, I cannot help but to laugh with him. It is so infectious. If I hear something I think he would belly laugh at...I start laughing. Just imagining him, and hearing the sound in my head is enough to set me off.<br /><br />We sold James's bassinet yesterday for $40. Why am I telling anyone this? Well, because the lady called today to complain that the bassinet has a stain on the cover under the bassinet pad. Now. They paid $40 for a complete bassinet, that is also a co sleeper, a cradle, has a night light, vibration, a mobile, and all accessories. This bassinet was over $100 when we got it. The only stain is under the pad on the cover. Did I know the stain was there? No. I did not. Not only did they only pay $40 for an otherwise perfect bassinet, we drove about 20miles away to meet them because they asked us to. So I am just a wee bit perturbed that they are not happy with an otherwise perfectly safe, beautiful, fully equipped, structural, USED bassinet, but that she wanted to sit on the phone an argue about the age of the bassinet. And the unseeable stain. The unseeable stain that can be rectified with just buying a new cover of their choice.<br /><br />I made another batch of fudge today, and ruined it. It is all crumbly and stiff, and to me just yucky in general. Ryan gave a piece to the baby and he scraped it out of his mouth it was so bad. So I went out and got some more things and made another almost perfect batch. Almost perfect because my dad makes the perfect one and I am not quite there yet.<br /><br />I have a broken pinky toe. It has been broken for several weeks now and the pain had eased up..well I thought it had. We were at a friends last night, and the wife is a Dr. and she told me that it was not healed, not proper, and that while I might not feel the pain when I walk, it is still there. That if it was wrapped correctly I would feel the pain because it needs to reset or something somesuch. So Steve rewrapped it for me, and yowsers. It hurts. I can hardly stand and I have so much to get done today.<br /><br />Christmas is almost here!!! I cannot wait. I could really care less about any presents that I get. I just love watching everyone opening theirs. That is where the joy comes in at for me. I get all giddy and excited just watching, that I know I get on peoples nerves trying to get them to open their gifts.Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-7426937891241411352007-12-17T14:03:00.000-08:002007-12-17T14:19:21.929-08:00Candy and cookies!!!Pull up a nice comfy chair, grab a mug of hot cocoa, and enjoy some wonderfully delicious peanut butter balls, or a sweet thumbprint with a Reese cup.<br /><br />The last few days I have been making cookies and such. Haystacks, sugar cutouts, shortbread, thumbprints and peanut butter balls. I used to love making cookies with my granny when we were little, and I thought it would be a nice neighborly gift to a couple of great neighbors. Hope they enjoy, I sure have :)<br /><br />This weekend one of our friends Renee came over. Her husband was in our wedding and he is/was a really good friend of Steves. Long story short, last spring she caught him cheating on her with a coworker, in their house, during a party, with his parents there. They have two kids and the situation has just been so stressful on Renee. They are here on his work visa. So therefore no divorce can be had till they are granted their citizenship. He is living with his GF, and the kids see him every other weekend.<br /><br />She just found out some pretty upsetting news, and basically spent the entire weekend here. The kids were with him and GF and she was upset and needed some cheering up...or at least some comfort.<br /><br />Now I like Renee, but I can only take her in small doses. All weekend is a bit much. She is far more conservative than I am, and we really do not agree on anything...but she is nice and my heart goes out to her...my issue...<br /><br />She doesn't knock anymore. Or if she does it is just a quick knock and then in the door she comes...Hello...<br /><br />This. Gets on my nerves, but I don't want to say anything to her, because she is having such a hard time. But. I. Hate. It.<br /><br />Today I was putting James down for his nap and this time, no knock. Just Hello and in she comes.<br /><br />Guess, I will have to deal a little for a while.<br /><br />Sooooo....<br /><br />I have PMDD. I take my meds usually right around the time I take my bath. I have found they help me sleep that way and it has lessened the headaches. Not to late in the day, not to early in the day I guess. However...while they have helped it will never completely take away the swings in emotions. It begins about two days after ovulation and continues until two days into the crimson tide. Well...guess what today is. Whoever guessed day two after ovulation gets a stained glass cookie, if I make them :)<br />I can feel the change in me. My thoughts go all haywire. Like I could be in the happiest mood but inside I am contemplating every single little detail that has went wrong in the last 24/48 hours. Everything. And it builds from there. In my head I am trying to talk myself down, because I know what it is now. I know it will pass, I just gotta keep myself calm. It is just so hard sometimes, because the anger that I do not really feel will just rush out before I can stop it sometimes. While it has lessened the effects, it sure hasn't stopped the thoughts and depression that is right along with it. I just have to keep focusing on controlling it. I hate the looks on my families faces when it is that time and I have one of my PMDD moods. Ugh.<br /><br />My dad is in the hospital. Nothing major I think, just checks and such. He is such a pain when he is in there. Calling and cursing, yelling at the nurses...everything. He went for a regular Dr. visit and the Dr. heard something in his chest and having recently beat his cancer he was just taking precaution I think. But try telling a 68 yr old pig headed man that.<br /><br />Hugs to all and enjoy the cookies. Maybe some fudge will come by later.Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-12151757060981537782007-12-13T03:57:00.001-08:002007-12-13T04:05:49.746-08:00Just thingsThis past weekend my parents came up. We thought Steve's family would be here also, but his daddy had to work. My parents, being who they are, decided they would cook for everyone and just have a holiday style meal since we did not get to go home. They did decide against it when we found out Steve's family wasn't going to be able to make it. But they did bring goodies like my dads super awesome fudge. I swear you have not had fudge till you have my families. I usually will not even eat anyone else's because his is that good. Soft and rich, not to sweet, smooth wonderfulness. My mom made some custard pies. The ones where you do not use a crust. OMG I love custard pie, it reminds me of being a little girl and my granny making them at the holidays. My mom also made an Egg Nog bunt cake. It is sooooo good. Smooth and moist after almost a week.<br /><br />My brother came to visit with his little boy too, and we all actually had a really nice time. I always get worried because me and my baby brother don't always get along to well...they whole you are the spawn of Satan thing always rubbed me the wrong way...but anywho...<br /><br />We all had a great time, and I was so sad to see my parents leave. I actually got teared up a bit, which is not normal at all.<br /><br />I took James to get his hair trimmed before they got here, and OMG the lady chopped his hair to bits. I told her a little out of the eyes and a tiny bit off the ears and back. To LEAVE his curls. Within 2 minutes his hair was all choppy and a complete mess. I told her to leave him alone...and as I was taking him out of the chair she was still cutting. I about screamed...leave my baby alone...lets just say they did not even ask me to pay. The next day I took him to the local kids place that we normally go to, they did a fabulous job fixing his hair and I am so grateful. No curls, but that is because the other lady cut every single one off, but he looks like a little boy and not a baby anymore. Maybe I will post before and after pictures later.<br /><br />I got picture drama...tell ya more about that later.<br /><br />Hugs.Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-76105435895758150172007-12-07T12:40:00.000-08:002007-12-07T13:01:35.002-08:00Just say thank you...I was thinking yesterday, as I went into my second hour of shampooing carpets that being a stay at home mom....or dad, is really one of those thankless jobs.<br /><br />The stay at home parent does the majority of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and kid detail during the day. We wash cloths, fold them, put them up, do dishes, sweep the floors...on and on and on. Do we get a raise? Heck no, we don't even get a pay check. Not a monetary one at least.<br /><br />We clean and cook, manage and analyze every single day. We don't get monthly performance reports and really it is a great day when some one says, without prompting, wow the house is really clean, or thank you for washing my clothes and noticing that stain and working to get it out.<br /><br />I know all parents have these same things, but when one parent stays home really the majority falls on them. That's alot of majority when you really thing about it. It's a lot of responsibility, but we do it because we love.<br /><br />That is the paycheck, making sure everything runs smoothly, helping our kids, taking care of our spouses...our family. But sometimes, it would be nice to be just given a vacation day so to speak. A nice day without any of that, but one where someone <strong>does</strong> fill in for you. Because with out a filler on the schedule, just like any job, all of it falls behind. Then it's not like a vacation day, it is like one of those very rare sick days, where you come back and have not just double the work, but sometimes triple....because there has been no complete picking up, nor any sweeping of the floors, or whatever.<br /><br />Being a parent is a thankless job, however I know that as a SAHP I have much more on my plate, in my head, and to do every single day than what I ever had to do when I was actually working.<br /><br />However unlike a regular job, we don't do the special things for recognition, or promotion we do them because we love. We try to take care of our families to our best ability. To comfort them, to care for them, to make sure they have everything they need to get through the day and come home to dinner together and a clean house to relax in.<br /><br />There's a lot more that goes into being a SAHP than what goes into just going to work everyday. Look around and try to remember who dusted the mantle, or the pictures, or cleaned the windows, or made sure meals are prepared...whatever, and if the majority is falling to one person...make sure to tell them that you appreciate them, that you noticed...that is all the raise we need.Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-25630112234887907932007-12-06T05:25:00.000-08:002007-12-06T05:34:48.842-08:00FreeeezzziiinngggggMan it is cold in our house, well at least downstairs it is. Something is wrong with our downstairs furnace, I think it may be the thermostat. Sometimes the heat kicks on when it is not needed, but doesn't kick on when it is.<br /><br />My toes are cold, my hands are hurting from the cold, and my little boy is all cozied up like he is going out to play...LOL.<br /><br />Pretty good week so far, CSTL came home from Philadelphia yesterday. I was so happy to see him. Sometimes when he is gone for work it seems like weeks go by when it is only days.<br /><br />I've been a cleaning fool the last few days. I have the dining room and living room all clean...carpets are even shampooed. Yesterday I did the kitchen and the table area along with the foyer. Cleaned the cabinets, washed the cabinets down a few weeks ago so I scrubbed and mopped the floor and waxed the hardwood. Today I will tackle the family room and downstairs bathroom, and hopefully get all of upstairs done before our families get here tomorrow.<br /><br />Christmas shopping is about done. Just gotta get James squared away. Three more presents for family kids, and some gift cards and we are done. I would rather be done earlier in the season than now, but that is okay...money has been really tight so I am glad that we are just able to do what we can when we can.Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7628450018227141149.post-58714463449722506962007-12-03T05:35:00.000-08:002007-12-03T06:08:37.184-08:00Time for something new<span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>So I figured it was time to start anew. Things change, and coming upon the New Year, I have thought alot about the changes that have taken place in me, in my family, and in life in general.</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>Yesterday I broke my baby toe, needless to say it was extremely painful. More painful than what I thought a broken anything should be. I took some of CSTL's pain meds for his mouth and while it eased the pain to where I could walk, it really did not do all that much but make me a bit loopy inside...LOL</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>We decorated the tree last night, and while I take pride at how the tree looks every year, to me it resembles something that you would see at a department store. It is simply gorgeous and full of family love.</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>I had to go out and get some ornament hooks so I went to the Rite Aid down the road. I was walking past the door when I saw this little old lady trip over the car stop thing. Her granddaughter was struggling to help her up, and I seriously thought that the way she was so limp that maybe she had a heart attack. I dropped everything and ran out there to help. When it was all over, all I kept thinking of was my grandma. How much I miss her, and how I would give anything to help her up just once more. To hold her hand, see her laugh, and have her see my two beautiful children. </em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>We did not go to either family for Thanksgiving. Financial issues, dental appt.'s, and just life in general biting us in the patootie left us with the choice to do something sensible and stay home and celebrate here, or go and try to make it work. We stayed and I was left reflecting over my family in general. </em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>So much has changed with me and my dad's relationship in the last 9 years. I love my dad, and am so proud of him. He's a little nuts, and sometimes slightly crazy, but since I had Ryan, he has never let me down. He has always been there, even when I didn't want him to be. When we got married, I was sure that was the end but he surprised me again, and now loves CSTL as much as he loves his own children. And that warms my heart.</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>I came across some pictures of Ryan right before we moved here, and I cannot believe how much he has grown. Not the taller kinda grown, but the mature, confident grown. He is becoming a little man, but every day when he comes for his nightly hug, or his many daily hugs, I am reminded of just how lucky I am. He is an overall good kid. He has the same pushing and testing boundaries that all 9 year olds have, but he is a good, sensitive, loving, caring little boy. He is smart, and well rounded, and tried to make the best choice when his friends are making the wrong ones. </em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>A few weeks ago, his dad called and pretty much said that he wanted nothing to do with Ryan. For us to do whatever, CS adopt him or whatever, he did not care. That he had to get his life together and could not do that worrying about Ryan. I have to say that it hurt. Not hurt me, but hurt because I knew what it would do to Ryan. I have not told him, but I did tell him that we finally got his blessing for CSTL to adopt him.</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>James is just growing and growing. He has such a sweet demeanor, and just comes up to you to hug, or give kisses, or just to sit on your lap. Ryan wasn't like that. He did not want to be held at all, so it is a welcome change when James stops playing to sit beside you for just a moment. When he looks up at you and smiles and then hops back down...it's like he is checking to make sure we are still there. His new thing is pointy at you and saying..."You stink!" LOL, it is about the cutest thing.</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>This year has brought a lot of changes, especially these last few months. After finally figuring out what was wrong with me, PMDD, and getting treatment...I can say that I feel at total peace inside. One big thing I know it was affecting was my marriage, and I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have a husband who just stands by and takes everything...only to still love me in the morning. And when I say take everything...I mean the worst mental mood swings and emotional crap you can throw at someone. If you know anyone with PMDD you know what I am talking about. I was diagnosed in Oct. and my Dr. said it was the most severe form. That basically means I am a terror during that time. So much so, that Ryan told me I was mean now. That is when I knew I had to do something. </em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>CSTL...there is not much more I can say about him, other than I love him. I love him with everything that I am. From childhood I have dealt with some terrible things, things that could totally break someone. Those things taught me to keep people at a distance, to not let anyone to close, to always try to take care of myself first. Being with him, feeling the love he has for me everyday, has given me the ability to re-learn how to love. How to cherish and show that love. I still have some work to do, but I am trying to be better every day. I know we have had our problems, and there has been issues and what-not, but we always come out stronger, better, and more dedicated. </em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>I have a family. I have the totality that I always saw other people with and wished for. As I reflect on the year past, and my life in general, I realize that right now is certainly the best time in my life. </em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>I have love. I have the love that blossoms and grows everyday.</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>I finally have a little peace....thanks in part to Celexa, but nonetheless, it feels wonderful.</em></span>Syrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022317870867996822noreply@blogger.com2